Male Intimacy

Some men struggle with intimacy, as many men have been socialised to appear to be strong and in control. While intimacy encourages and enables vulnerability as you connect with another person. This perceived need for men to hide any weakness can interfere with their ability to experience a real closeness, since real intimacy always involves some degree of vulnerability

What is Intimacy

The experience of emotional closeness. It occurs when two people are able to be emotionally open with one another, and reveal their true feelings, thoughts, fears and desires. This can only occur when both people are able to genuinely trust one another, and feel able to take the risk of being vulnerable. It is a universal human need; without it we have the experience of loneliness. A perceived lack of intimacy is one of the most common reasons for relationship breakdowns.

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Ask the Expert.  “Am I too old to find love?”

Dr. Joe Kort

I’m 58 and have never had a lover, although I’ve always dreamed of having one.  Surely I must be doing something wrong? But I feel I’ve waited too long, and that today’s gay culture won’t now be interest in an old guy.  It seems that “attractive” and “successful” are the only attributes anyone cares about.

Am I unique in this search?  I live alone, have no relatives and few friends—most of them straight and most of them only at work.

Single-In in Spartanburg

Dear Singled-In,
I want to help become singled OUT!  So many gay men tell me they want a relationship, but what they really want is a…

Continue reading “Ask the Expert.  “Am I too old to find love?””

GetCheckedOnline

BC Centre for Disease Control (BCCDC)

GetCheckedOnline is a free and confidential online sexually transmitted infection (STI) testing service offered by the BC Centre for Disease Control (BCCDC). as part of the Provincial Health Services Authority. The BC Centre for Disease Control is located in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada.

Clinical Prevention Services provides leadership for the treatment and prevention of sexually transmitted infections (STI) and HIV, and supports BC-wide efforts to control STI and HIV.

We operate two STI clinics in Vancouver and provide outreach clinical and prevention services in the Lower Mainland, community education programs, and consultation services for BC health care providers on STI management.

GetCheckedOnline has been developed to meet a growing need for easier access to STI testing in BC. The BCCDC has piloted GetCheckedOnline in select communities around British Columbia to evaluate its success and is now hoping to expand to other areas of the province.

https://getcheckedonline.com/Pages/HowGetCheckWorks.aspx

Time to get active

Well with the warmer weather finally arriving (at least I hope so) its time to drag the kayaks out and start getting a little exercise.

The video is taken on a local creek (Kanaka Creek Riverfront park) with a friends son. About 3 hrs round trip at a nice leisurely pace with a stop for snacks.
The instrument is a duduk (doo-DOOK) or tsiranapogh (ծիրանափող in Armenia) is a double reed apricot wood woodwind instrument native to Armenia

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJihjJWutFI

Self-love: the antithesis to perfectionism

from MedicalNewsToday

“Why is self-love important?” you might ask. For many of us, self-love might sound like a luxury rather than a necessity — or a new-age fad for those with too much time on their hands.

Ironically, however, self-care and -compassion might actually be needed most by those of us who work too hard and who are constantly striving to surpass ourselves and grasp the shape-shifting phantasm of perfection.

Most of the time, when we’re being too hard on ourselves, we do it because we’re driven by a desire to excel and do everything right, all the time. This entails a lot of self-criticism, and that persecutory inner voice that constantly tells us how we could’ve done things better is a hallmark of perfectionism.

Studies have shown that perfectionists are at a higher risk of several illnesses, both physical and mental, and that self-compassion might free us from its grip. Therefore, perfectionism and self-compassion are inextricably linked.

This article will look at ways to dial down the former and boost the latter, with the conviction that doing so will help you to lead a happier, more fulfilled life.

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The Epidemic of Loneliness

by Michael Hobbes, Huffpost/ Highline
https://highline.huffingtonpost.com/articles/en/gay-loneliness/
(A VERY LONG ARTICLE)

“I used to get so excited when the meth was all gone.”

This is my friend Jeremy.

“When you have it,” he says, “you have to keep using it. When it’s gone, it’s like, ‘Oh good, I can go back to my life now.’ I would stay up all weekend and go to these sex parties and then feel like shit until Wednesday. About two years ago I switched to cocaine because I could work the next day.”

Jeremy is telling me this from a hospital bed, six stories above Seattle. He won’t tell me the exact circumstances of the overdose, only that a stranger called an ambulance and he woke up here.

Jeremy is not the friend I was expecting to have this conversation with. Until a few weeks ago, I had no idea he used anything heavier than martinis. He is trim, intelligent, gluten-free, the kind of guy who wears a work shirt no matter what day of the week it is. The first time we met, three years ago, he asked me if I knew a good place to do CrossFit. Today, when I ask him how the hospital’s been so far, the first thing he says is that there’s no Wi-Fi, he’s way behind on work emails.

“The drugs were a combination of boredom and loneliness,” he says. “I used to come home from work exhausted on a Friday night and it’s like, ‘Now what?’ So I would dial out to get some meth delivered and check the Internet to see if there were any parties happening. It was either that or watch a movie by myself.”

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Sexual Orientation and Weight

Stats Canada

In 2018, 26.8% of Canadians 18 and older (roughly 7.3 million adults) reported height and weight that classified them as obese. Another 9.9 million adults (36.3%) were classified as overweight – bringing the total population with increased health risks due to excess weight to 63.1% in 2018. This was an increase from 2015 where 61.9% of Canadians aged 18 and older were overweight or obese

Maybe some good news 
Article by Linda Carroll (2010-numbers have been climbing since then)

In a famous episode of “Seinfeld,” Jerry complains that people constantly assume he’s gay because he’s single, obsessively neat — and thin. As it turns out, at least part of that punchline may be anchored in fact.

A new study shows that gay men really are leaner than straight men. And conversely, it also found that gay women tend to be heavier than their heterosexual counterparts.

Boston researchers determined that gay men were 50 percent less likely to be obese compared to their heterosexual counterparts, according to a report published in the American Journal of Public Health.
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Prepping for Summer

Summer is just around the corner and it’s time to shed the winter blues (and a few extra pounds???).  Jumping into summer is as easy as 1, 2, 3.

1 Regular Exercise

Regular exercise is an important first step in preparing for summer (actually it’s important year round but we tend to forget in the winter)
It brightens our mood, helps burn off a few extra pounds, and tones up our muscles.

A simple walk is a great place to begin, 3 20 minute walks a week and work up to 5 times a week. If you have a regular exercise routine try adding a new thing or 2.

2 Fruits and Veggies

Increasing your fruits and veggies is the 2nd step.  Nothing tastes quite as good as in season fruits and vegetables.  Ok they aren’t quite in season yet. Continue reading “Prepping for Summer”

A Therapist Speaks About Mental Health After Pandemic Reopening

JULY 6, 2021
By Ray Hsu
Source: WHAT’S ON QUEER BC

I recently had a chance to chat with Duncan Kleist, a Registered Clinicial Counsellor based in Vancouver, who is now focused on building his practice. He’s a practitioner, but it’s also clear that he’s a teacher in the grandest sense of the word.

We discussed where to find mental health resources for LGBTQI2S+ folks and what to expect from a post-pandemic–or at least post-reopening–world.

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